One of my tech missions while staying with my parents this month was to help them make the switch from DSL and Dish to cable. That should be simple enough, right?
As if!
Wednesday: First off -
Charter has the most painfully cryptic website and ordering process I could imagine. It is beyond cumbersome, and nearly impossible to figure out what channels are offered at what cost. Even figuring out the "normal" price after the initial six month promotion is difficult.
And what exactly is the difference between the package with "tons of great entertainment and expanded programming!" and "the most popular channels to entertain the whole family!" Why can't they just list the channels up front?!!??
Once I figured out what I think we wanted, I couldn't find a way to place the order online successfully without ending up with a lot of other stuff I don't want bundled in. But I also couldn't call to ask for help, or else I'd forfeit the $50 gift card for online orders.
Eventually (after spending way too much time on this) I managed to piece together a package with the help of "Chamier" using the online chat system. But Chamier kept coming up with package prices for me that were different (cheaper!) than the packages listed on the web. Sure - cheaper is good. But why the difference?
He then claimed the installation charge would be $119 - outrageously higher than the $39 installation fee the website lists. Chamier claimed that his computer would not allow him to change the installation charge, but he did offer me a Friday morning (8AM till noon) installation appointment, which I accepted. I figured once the order was placed, I could call Charter directly to work out the installation charge discrepancy.
Thursday: Thursday afternoon I called Charter and fought through their phone tree hell system ("Are you calling about ESPN college football?? Please enter your phone number. Your phone number is invalid. Please enter your phone number....") until I reached a human (who promptly asked me for my phone number!) to ask about the installation charge. The service rep told me that the installation charge would be $59, and she could not explain why her price was different than the web's $39 or Chamier's $119. She also could not look up the details of the package I had ordered to confirm the monthly price - telling me that the computer does not list it until after the installation is complete, but I could call back after to find out what the monthly bill will be. Huh?!? I asked her if we could consider this a reactivation and not an installation, since my parents have had Charter before (two years ago) and the house is pre-wired for cable. There is actually no installation work to do other than plug a few things in. "Sure - we can do a reactivation fee. The total for that will be $79." Reactivation costs more than installation?!?? I opt for the cheaper "installation" and, ask her to confirm the time.
"Your appointment is scheduled for 1pm to 5pm tomorrow." And of course - she had no idea why the appointment time was now different than the one Chamier had given me the day before. Frustrated but hopeful, I hung up.
Friday: Up at 5AM to take my parent's to the airport, and then back with not enough time before 1pm to do much away from home. At 11:30am as Cherie and I are about to head out for lunch (making sure we will be back by 1pm) the phone rings, and it is a computer voice telling me that the technician is on his way and will be arriving between 12:30 and 1:30. Uhm, what if we had been gone and not back until the previously planned 1pm? Ok - we can wait, and we plan to head out to lunch afterwards...
At 2:30pm, hungry, and with no cable guy in sight, I give up and call Charter. "Oh, no - your appointment is 1pm to 5pm... I've had other customers call to complain about the voice notification system - it is totally useless...."
Cherie heads out to get us some takeout lunch, and I continue to wait.
At 4:30pm I get a call from the Charter technician. He is lost, and he is driving around Columbia at random. I give him directions, and keep waiting. Ten minutes later he calls again - he has forgotten then name of the street to turn on! I repeat it, and he realizes he has just driven past it. Five minutes later he arrives.
I show the technician (Derrick) where things need to be set up, and where the satellite wiring needs to be disconnected. I've already traced where all the existing cable lines are, and I show him exactly what needs to be done. I tell him not to damage our Dish setup - in case we ever want to switch to it again.
I head inside while Derrick frets in his truck. When I walk back out and around to the side of the house I notice that rather than unscrew the wires going into the Dish wiring block, Derrick has cut them. Uhm...
But, we'll have cable soon enough, so not a big deal, right?
I then notice Derrick working on the box up near the curb, and I see him kick it violently. He then comes inside and says "there is a problem - I can't finish tonight". He explains that the tap box is broken open - "I see it all the time in East St. Louis, where people are trying to steal cable - but never in a neighborhood like this". We walk over and look, and indeed the box is cracked, and the taps inside are bent and broken. We theorize that it might have been a riding lawnmower crashing into it, and I privately wondered about his kicking the box potentially being the cause.
Anyway - Derrick spends some time trying to call his supervisor, and then he tells me that his supervisor will be in a meeting until 5:30pm, but that once he gets through they'll send out a tech
probably even that night to fix the tap. Derrick tells me to expect him back tomorrow morning to finish up inside. He promises to call as soon as he knows the details to confirm with me. He even takes down my cell phone number.
Derrick then asks about fixing the Dish hookup he had cut, and I tell him that as long as things are fixed by the time my parents get back in town (Sunday night) the Dish isn't needed. He assures me that this tap issue is no problem whatsoever and that things will be fixed in plenty of time. As he drives off, he tells me to expect a call from him soon. Yeah. Right.
The evening rolls past and I never get a call from Derrick, so I call Charter at 8:45pm to ask when to expect the completion of the installation in the morning. Cherie and I have plans to spend the day out - and the though of wasting our one free weekend waiting around for Charter is not appealing at all. After getting bounced around on hold for a while, I am eventually told that the "tech supervisor" would be calling me in the morning.
Saturday Morning: Cherie and I are unable to plan our day until we know what is up with Charter, so I call at 10AM, fight through voice menu hell, and eventually reach a human. When she tells me that she has no idea when someone will be coming to fix things, I raise a fuss and ask about getting someone to come and fix the cut Dish network lines. She puts me on hold to talk to her supervisor, only to come back five minutes later to tell me that I should call the satellite company for that and they can not help. I then start to pressure her for some sort of straight answer.
"When will things be fixed? I don't know. Who knows? My supervisor has contacted the tech supervisor and asked him to call you. Who is the tech supervisor? I don't know. When will the tech supervisor call me? I don't know. Who is your supervisor? Tricia. How long should I sit around waiting for a call? I don't know. When should I call back if I haven't heard from the tech supervisor? Try again in an hour..."
I wait over an hour, and call back. I get another minion, who then runs off to talk to his supervisor (the very same Tricia) - he comes back to tell me that he has spoken to Tricia, and that the Tech Supervisor will be calling me between 5:00 and 5:30pm. I give him my cell phone so that I can head out for the day. I ask him what I should do if no one calls - he tells me that I should call back, and that Tricia will be there until 9pm. Fine.
Steaming, we head out for the afternoon. And of course, my phone never rings.
Saturday Evening: I call back at 5:30pm, and once I explain the situation (for seemingly the tenth time today) I'm told that Tricia has LEFT for the day. She'll be there until 9pm?!!? Hmmmph.
I start to fume trying to get a straight answer from someone, and eventually I am talking to the "floor supervisor" Jess. He tells me that he can set up another installation appointment, and that the soonest he can arrange one will be on Friday. He says he has no way to have anyone come fix the satellite either, and he is completely unsympathetic or unapologetic for the mess. I insist on talking to someone who actually knows something, and at first the phone clicking sounds as if he has abruptly hung up on me.
And then a moment later I am talking to yet again someone new. As I explain the story from scratch again, for once it seems like the person on the other end of the line is actually listening, understands, and seems willing to do something. Michael O'Neill explains that I've at last reached the Charter corporate offices, and he agrees that the call center is completely useless. He tells me that he'll get in touch with dispatch directly, and that he might even be able to have someone out that night. He gives me his FULL name, and the phone number for the corporate office (314-965-0555). He tells me to skip over the call center and to call him with any problems, and he promises to get back to me personally ASAP.
Ah - ok, that seems like progress. That sure beats hearing "next Friday" - my parents couldn't even survive that long without TV!
Saturday Night: I finished up all the cable wiring in the basement myself (Cherie: "Why are you doing that - that's their job?") so that when/if a tech came all they would need to do would be to fix the outside tap, plug in the cable boxes, and splice a single line. The less time I need them here, the better. I am ready to be done with this mess.
When 8:30pm roles around and I have not heard back from Michael I start to worry, and I call back on the number he gave me. But I get a message that the Charter corporate offices closed at 7pm, and they are also closed on Sunday. *argh* That Michael didn't call back and didn't mention the office hours is AWFUL customer support!
The only thing left to do was to dive back into phone tree hell to try and reach a human at the call center ("No - I am NOT calling about ESPN college football!") When I reach a human and once again explain the story from scratch (how many times now?) - she goes to look up my file.
"Ah there is a note here - it is from the dispatcher of the installation company, saying that she will call you at 11:53AM tomorrow."
Uhm. 11:53?? Ok. Whatever.
I am SO not impressed with Charter right now. We'll see what tomorrow will bring. But right now I am willing to bet that the TV's will be out when my parents return home tomorrow night, and that will not be pretty....
*ugh* I am SO sick of crap customer service. All it takes is a little bit of proactive honest communications. Give me a straight answer - please!!! Call me back when you say you will. Don't promise things unless you can deliver. And treat me with a little respect. Is that really so hard?!??
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